Monday, February 29, 2016

My Top Five Fears of Motherhood


As the days draw closer to meeting our baby boy, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on how I am feeling right now.  What are the thoughts that keep me up at night about this new chapter in my life I am embarking upon very soon?  Here are my top five fears of becoming a mom.....

One:  Can I handle the aftermath of childbirth?

This probably sounds silly but as a first time mom, I obviously have never experienced bringing life into this world so there is a fear of the unknown.  I hear a lot of stories about life postpartum and honestly I am freaked out about what I hear.  Your body is going through so many adjustments and you have this new innocent tiny person depending on you for everything.  That is an overwhelming thought for me especially because I already know I have to have a c-section delivery.  Will I be able to physically handle everything I need to in that first week or two he is here without sinking into some sort of depression?  I think I will be fine but I know postpartum depression is real and I just don't want anything to taint those first few weeks I get to experience with my baby.

Two:  Will I have enough patience to survive the sleepless nights and the constant crying and will I be able to provide enough attention to my dog so he receives the baby well?

I am fearful of surviving off the lack of sleep and I don't want to become impatient with my husband or others because of running off of fumes.  I am praying our little guy develops good sleeping patterns early.  I am also concerned about our dog Bentley and how he is going to adjust to the baby.  He is very much an alpha dog and likes a lot of attention so I am praying he takes on the protective role of the baby and not the opposite as it will break my heart to have to part ways with my fur baby because of something awful happening.  I am sure things will be fine, but I'm just keeping it real!

Three:  Will my new career plans work out in order to allow for me to stay home with him?

So we have made the decision 100% not to use daycare for at least the first year.  In order to accomplish this, I have to make some career adjustments to allow for us to survive off little to no assistance.  At the most, we plan to have a nanny part-time.  The plan is for my current full-time job to allow me to work from home at least 3 days a week but if they are unable to accommodate, I will walk away as being a mother is my first priority right now.  I will use that time as the opportunity for me to begin working for myself which I am excited about!  But I am fearful that my plans won't work and we will be forced into a situation we don't want to be in such as me going back to a full-time work schedule and putting our small baby in daycare.   Ultimately, I have faith our plans are going to work out fine, but this is a fear that creeps up because again it is going into the unknown.  And when you go into unknown territories, you act on pure FAITH that things will work out!

Four:  Will I be able to trust others with my child when I am not around?

Our parents still live in the Midwest so we do not have anyone to rely on in our family to help us with babysitting.  This is a huge fear for me as I am typically not the most trusting of new people right away.  I am just praying good childcare providers come into our path that will make a great PT nanny and babysitter as needed!

Five:  Will I have enough milk to survive breastfeeding?

I really want to be able to breastfeed 100% of the time.  I fear I will not produce enough milk to keep up with the demand of the baby and I don't want to supplement.  I've been researching lots of tips and tricks on how to keep your supply up and also have a breastfeeding class this week which I hope puts me on the right track for a successful breastfeeding experience.

There are other things that I fear here and there but these are by far the fears that cross my mind the most.  Hopefully at the end of the day, the anxiety was all for nothing and my entry into motherhood goes smoothly :)

I have waited what seems like an eternity to become a mom and I am really looking forward to experiencing everything motherhood has in store.  I hope he is everything I prayed he will be and that I am the mother he deserves.

I can't wait to meet you, Asher!



2 comments:

  1. It will all work out. This is what physiologically we are made to do. The first few weeks will be hard and will be an adjustment but you will be amazed how you and your husband will form a team. I know it is hard with no family in close proximity but trust in your local support system. Even the greatest of moms needs a break sometimes. Invest your time now into finding good babysitters when you may need one. I breastfed both my babies for a year each. The best experience of my life--the bond is indescribable. Last advice, is for the delivery. Don't let anyone take you away from your nursing plan--society is set up to encourage formula. However, your body knows exactly what your baby needs. Also, you are your baby's greatest advocate. Let this guide you in your new mother journey. Take care.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for the great advice :)

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